Couples Therapy

What People Usually Expect From Counseling

Many of the individuals and couples that come to me are desperately seeking relief from their pain, frustrations, and despair. Their experience of marriage has fallen short of their hopes, dreams, and expectations. Efforts to change these disappointments have been futile and aggravate these situations further with endless disputes.

People often select a marriage counselor with hopes that this professional will be smart enough and strong enough to challenge their partner to change some of their unacceptable behaviors and therefore put a stop to the endless suffering.

Lasting Change Requires Courage to Grow

Rather then focus on who's to blame for all the pain and suffering, I redirect couples to the solutions where they have power to change their relationships; from within themselves. My work focuses more on helping each partner to find their courage to confront the challenging problems that has resulted in their negative view of their partners, their marriage, and of themselves. This typically requires each partner to look deeper within themselves to rediscover who they all are in the context of their marriage while honoring their own unique needs and desires that define who they are.

My interventions are based on the health model with the premise that each individual is striving to do the best they can given their own set of developmental tools from their life experiences. The conflicts, power struggles, and betrayals that occur between two people begin make perfect sense when it becomes clearer how much of their full potential is untapped. It isn't a question as to what is going wrong or what needs to be fixed, but rather, who you and your partner are and how to adapt to a more productive method to meet the mutual needs and desires of the relationship.

Make a commitment to yourself

If you choose to work with me and make a significant shift in your life, then you must realize that the approach I use will not be a quick fix or offer clever techniques of how to smooth over or whitewash important issues. It will require you to make a personal commitment to yourself to do the work, allow your truths to emerge, connect with your inner strength, and rediscover a new self-confidence as you redefine who you are in the context of your marriage.

You can feel more successful

Successful couples find that they begin to operate at a more mature level with each other as the healthier aspects of who they are become more pronounced. Their personal power from their integrity starts to emerge and their interactions are more effective. I see couples essentially "grow up" in the therapy I offer. They begin to access more honest and direct methods to calmly express, with confidence, who they are to their mate and are less willing to resort to actions that only discredit the better part of who they are.

Who Can Benefit

Any two individuals who are motivated to improve their relationship are appropriate for "Marriage Counseling". A couple does not have to be legally married in order to experience the issues that come up in a relationship.

I also work with individuals who are motivated to change their experience in life even if their partner is not motivated to participate in counseling. In fact, if an individual within a relationship makes significant changes for themselves, it is virtually impossible for their shifts in behavior not to have some sort of impact and potential influence towards the other for changes to occur.

Sessions

Sessions for couples are generally scheduled for 100-minute time blocks in the privacy of a comfortable office where confidentiality is maintained. Both partners will be seen together in most instances.

The number of sessions that will be required to bring about the desired changes in any relationship will be solely dependent upon each individual's efforts and willingness to accept responsibility for co-creating a better marriage. Some couples experience changes after only a few weekly sessions while others could go months without experiencing any improvement due to deeper issues or resistance to change.

Learn more about my Unique Approach to Couples Therapy.

Contact my office if you have any questions or for an appointment.